Stevie Silverlight

I don't know whats wrong with me lately. I will sit here and stare at the computer screen and absolutely nothing comes to mind.

I'm not even in the mood to read and I have been going to the library and checking out books that end up sitting on the coffee table unread.

I think I'm on the third time of re-checking out T.S. Elliot complete works and I just can't seem to get motivated enough to read.

I'm tired a lot too and I sleep at least 8 hours every night.

I just feel sluggish, like I'm moving in slow motion.

My family thinks I'm depressed but I'm not. At least I don't think I am. I'm melancholy but not really sad. Just mostly tired and uninspired and unmotivated.

I really don't like feeling this way at all.

On a good note, my cabinets are in and my kitchen looks really pretty. Now if I could only afford to replace the eyesore that is my stove/oven and update my refrigerator, then my kitchen will look great. The last few things I need to do would be to finish refinishing the floors and update the bathroom and my little house will be all done.

If only I could get motivated to do any of it.

Yeah, so I know its been quite a bit. Been kind of busy getting the house all livable and then had guests that turned a one week stay into a two week.

Not that I wasn't happy to have a bit of company, but it was a bit daunting to find him at the kitchen table every morning drinking coffee as if its something he's always done.

Thank God I no longer entertain impossible notions.

Still, having him around for even just 13 days, 6 hours and 38 minutes give or take a few minutes has only served to make my lonliness even more acute if thats possible.

I find myself missing him greatly and all I am is a childhood friend.

So I'm in a little house now. A cottage really. Its a little on the small side but very cute, not that I have a lot of stuff to fill it up anyway.

Moving all my furniture in, I still have a lot of empty space left over.

My bedroom is a good size and now that I have a second bedroom, I'll have even more space because I took my desk and my computer and stuff and put it in the second room so its sort of like an office/guest room. I treated myself to a new bed too. I've had the same one for awhile and put it in the extra bedroom. Its a single bed so it fits in there just fine with my desk and a tall set of drawers but that is pretty much going to be it because that room is sort of small.

My bedroom on the other hand is nice. I bought a queen-sized four poster. Its not the original one I wanted, but its similar and it was half off because it was discontinued and the floor model. They threw in a new mattress and boxsprings since the others were stained but I had to pay the difference because I chose the pillow-topped mattress. Still, it was a great deal. I originally wanted the black wrought-iron canopy bed, but it turned out to be too expensive and this one is nice especially after I painted it. It started out a dark silvery-gray but it just looked dirty so I spray painted the entire framing white and then once it was dry I took sandpaper to it and removed some of the paint in spots and scrubbed it down all over in general and then buffed it and added a flat clear coat over top so now it looks weathered and so pretty. It matches the dresser I bought really nicely since its white painted wood scrubbed with wire wool so it looks weathered. I replaced the wooden drawer knobs with silver scrolling pulls, after I painted them and scrubbed them down to match my bed ;)

All in all, the place is pretty.

I'm going to have a lot of work to do but hopefully my brother will help me since he is better with carpentry than I am. My kitchen cabinets need to be replaced and so does all of the shelving in the pantry. I need new folding doors for the closets in my bedroom, the spare bedroom and in the bathroom. I tore out the carpet and uprooted all of the tack tracks around the house and I'm going to have to get a floor sander to smooth out all of the rough spots and remove the old carpet glue. Why they put carpeting on top of wooden floors I have no clue. There is a spot in the dining area that will have to be pulled up and replaced but that looks pretty easy judging by the book I bought.

I already filled in all of the nail holes in the walls as well as patching up the big spot behind the bathroom door where the doorknob got smashed through the wall. I also repainted everything inside already so everything looks fresh and pretty. I just didn't do the kitchen yet because that room is going to need the most work.

What sold me on this place was the bathroom and the backyard. Neither are too big really but they are both a good size and the bathroom has a really deep tub and the backyard is level and the grass is really green and healthy with a really big oak tree right in the middle.

I got broadband internet through the cable company since they only have Bellsouth for the DSL here and I've heard nothing but bad things about them. I'd prefer to have DSL over broadband, but oh well. I had internet yesterday actually but I was just too tired to sit at the computer for any length of time.

Anyhow, I'm back online so *wave* to Desiree and to my new livejournal friend aa_eve_aa.

I'm going to go make a bowl of microwavable oatmeal since I'm still scared of my gas stove. I'll be around tonight to catch up on my reading.

~Stevie!

Ok, so I read everything by alwaysjbj and I have to say thspace_between was right! She's a terrific author and I just adore how she does Giles/Anya.

I wish she'd write more of it and longer fics too!

I've been sick this whole week so I've had nothing to do but read since I stayed in bed most of the time. Makes me very glad I have a laptop computer; much more mobile and not as heavy in the lap.

She told me to read a fic called Travelling Soldier and it was so sweet. One of these days I'll tell the author as much.

It took me almost a month to work up the nerve to talk to Desiree so I should be getting to it soon. Desi and I had a long email talk about shyness. I told her my shyness was worse than hers since she is now talking to more people online than I do in real life! I win! :P

Bluh! I still feel awful. The only good thing I can say about having the flu is that it is definitely good for weight loss.

I finally worked up the nerve to talk to thspace_between and she was really cool and sweet. She said she didn't mind if I linked her fanfic site in my profile since I needed a link to keep my journal style from going kablooey!

I also nommed her Willow-Oz fics so I hope she doesn't get upset with me. The last person I nommed wasn't too happy about it so I've avoided doing the whole annoymous nomming thing anymore and pretty much tell the author I nommed them so they don't freak out or anything.

So yeah, I might start posting at her community. Not sure, as I've never had any of my stuff checked by a beta reader so for all I know its filled with grammatical errors. She offered to check them over should I ever decide what I'm going to do, so I guess we will see.

She recommended alwaysjbj because I also said that I liked the Ganya pairings and so far the two fics I've read were pretty awesome so I'll probably go back and read some more of her stuff tonight.

I think my car is going to die on me. It makes this weird noise now when I drive; sounds like the kind of sound I imagine that a squirrel would make if you kicked it in its nuts.

Stupid car.

Oh well. I'm bored again so I guess I should probably go eat lunch or something.

Tough guy

You scored 80% masculine, 70% athletic, 45% exotic, and 43% refined!
You love men, you love testosterone and you know it. You like a bad-ass man who knows what he wants. He isn't what you might bring home to mom but I don't think it really matters - he's hot! Someone like.....Vin Diesel. But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test!




My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 86% on masculine

You scored higher than 57% on athletic

You scored higher than 44% on exotic

You scored higher than 36% on refined

Not decided if I'm going to allow it to be open or not to everyone yet. Might just make it a fic journal.

Still in the process of deciding.

Anyhoo, my kitty icon rocks, doesn't it? ^^

So, go check out this community: btvsatsdotcom

The community moderator is really sweet and she is an Oz lover just like me so HUZZAH to that! I've read her Oz point-of-view stories and I really can't wait until she posts more! It's cool that someone else out there still remembers him and likes having him with Willow and its awesome that she has decided to make her Willow-Oz fics a series. There aren't enough good Willow-Oz fics out there and hers rock, so I've got high hopes of seeing more, and hopefully soon.